Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Gratitude Game 2016


The Gratitude Game
by Mary Lyn Miller

As Thanksgiving approaches, we often think about gratitude.

While your probably view yourself as thankful for your blessings, we determine what we believe to be a "blessing" and what is not.  However, some of your greatest blessings may not initially look all that positive in the beginning.  For instance, my experiencing Cancer is what turned my life around and opened the door to a good health consciousness and rewarding life work.  Today I always give thanks for the gift of Cancer, but at the time it was fearful and overwhelming. The first thing to understand about gratitude is that it is not a selective process.

                                                 

The Gratitude Game begins with the premise that genuine thankfulness begins with being grateful for everything..yes, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life.

These are the steps to the Game:

1.    Make a list of anything you perceive as positive in your life. The people who love you are a good start. Anything good about your work, your relationships, special advantages or support you've received, anything nice someone else has done for you.  Just write down everything you can think of that is good about your life. Be truly grateful for it.

2.    Next write down everything ordinary that you take for granted: the roof over your head, your sight, your hearing, the ability to chew, your health, the warm California climate (you can tell I'm from the Midwest) and so forth. When you really think about it, there are so many small, inconsequential conditions that conspire to create a good lifestyle.  This is a good time to recognize them.

3.    Finally, write down any painful, uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and events, some of which may feel uncomfortable or difficult right now…and get grateful for them.  Why? This is how we learn the lessons of life. No one said it was all going to be easy.  But, gratitude opens you up. It helps you release the resistance (oh, why did this have to happen to me?) and embrace your difficult circumstances and allow the most good to come from them.  What creates your reality is not what happens to you, but how you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Life does have challenges, but there is a positive side for each and every one of them.  Be grateful for the gift inside of every heartache even if you can’t see it right now.

4.    Give thanks for those blessings that are on the way. Feel them coming. Expect success.  Expect the best and be grateful for it.

After completing this little game, how do you feel?  

Everyone who plays is a winner because I'll tell you a secret, gratitude allows you to receive more; it is the foundation of all abundance. An open, gracious heart is a powerful magnet for good. Money, opportunity, and joy flows toward gratitude.  Try it and see.

It will prepare you for a glorious Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Happy (Almost) Independence Day!

Any company producing a product called “Fired Up” should address the queen of all fired up holidays: the 4th of July aka Independence Day!

Of course, we know it as the day that the “United States of America” finally signed the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming our separation from Great Britain. (I understand it was actually signed July 2, but needed to be edited for 2 days – another story.)

A mere 1,337 handwritten words including headings with 56 signatures announced the humanitarian values of this new country as well as a list of grievances that would not be repeated. It is to this day, one of the most powerful documents in our history and changed the course of not only this fledgling country, but the world.

When I talk to entrepreneurs, the #1 reason many have stepped into their lifestyle is a quest for “independence.”

It made me think that we should all have a personal Declaration of Independence. A brief document signed by ONE (you) that, similar to the Declaration, could have 3 parts:
  1. What you stand for or believe in (the need to be creative, the right to create your own livelihood, the importance of helping others, the need to be self-expressive, etc….like a personal Purpose Statement.) It will be the values your business represents as well, I would think.
  2. What mistakes you have seen others make that you will not make (What you will do to live the life you stand for)
  3. What you are willing to do to live the life you have been designed to live which will set you free.
As soon as I started writing this, I just knew you’d want me to give you an example, so below is a quick, fairly imperfect template that I put together for myself just to give you some thoughts:

I, Mary Lyn Miller, do declare I believe all beings are endowed with a Divine sense of Purpose and the ability to make their Purpose come to pass through the consistent pursuit and focus on passion and joy. Passion is light through the tunnel. I have come to know it is not always an easy journey, but the one which provides the most reward, fulfillment and financial well-being, and the one I must choose in order to live an authentic life without regret.
I will not:
  • Work only for money.
  • Ignore my innate gifts and talents
  • Distrust my instincts
  • Allow myself to be too afraid to do what I need to do to move forward
  • Try to do it all myself
  • Forget that prayer and meditation is almost always the answer to every major need or desire (forget myself and my ego.)
I will:
  • Do something that gives me passion every day.
  • Realize passion and purpose is not something “to find”– it is already in me and I simply need to give it space to express.
  • Do my best to stay in the moment
  • End every day with a profound sense of gratitude no matter what.

What about you? What would your personal Declaration of Independence look like? Take the time over this holiday weekend to give it some thought and make some notes.

We all have to invest time to be free. Happy 4th!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Erica's New Car!


Erica Stambler began with Fired Up for Success in 2012, went through Core Essence, and has continued to participate in telephone Mastermind Groups and in-person Premiere Masterminds.  Starting with the 2012 Vision Workshop, Erica honed and refined her vision of what a law practice is to her and, from that vision, she launched what is now a bustling and successful law firm, The Stambler Law Office (www.StamblerLaw.com).

 While she presented her significant expertise as a business, contracts, and trademark attorney impressively to others, something was amiss...she still drove to her clients and speaking events in a 15 year old car.  "After all, it was practical and reliable (most of the time).  Besides, I don’t want to be perceived as one of those (heartless) high powered types that I saw when I was working in the big firms.”  By exploring that perception and what her car represented with her Premiere Mastermind group, she reframed her view of what kind of attorney drives a luxury vehicle--a High Integrity One!
                                                     
And, she quickly grasped that a high integrity attorney can drive a brand new Lexus and still be accessible to and supportive of others.  Interestingly, the same day, a colleague reflected back to her the exact words: “You are such a high integrity attorney.” 

What we believe, we receive.  

We all have beliefs that subtly sabotage us.  What beliefs are holding you back?  How are you denying yourself the income, ease, or support you truly deserve to move you forward? You need to do it yourself... but you don't need to do it alone.  Help is here.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

How is Your Business Like a Go-Kart ?

Guess what? Some kids took their Moms to brunch for Mother’s Day!! My fabulous daughter, Brandy and her  friend, Luke, let me loose to go kart racing and it was a blast!  I immediately wanted to go super- fast, but I realized that to get ahead it was more important to stay focused (so I didn’t bounce off the track or hit other cars and lose it all.) As I really concentrated, I realized it was more about strategy than speed. Maneuvering effectively was far more critical than being fast, and would actually help me get ahead of the other cars.


What a metaphor for success! So many of us want what we want – NOW! But, if you’re going really fast, you can make big mistakes that can throw you off the track. That’s why the Fired Up for Success approach encourages:“Success is accomplished moving forward taking the smallest steps possible on a consistent basis over an extended period of time.”

Does that sound like progress will be slow? Quite the contrary. Constant progress is waay better than taking huge leaps - and then finding out that you simply weren't prepared and are now facing a setback.  Think about it.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

What the H*** is Transition?


A lot of people seem to be doing it, but what the H*** does "Transition" mean?
According to the dictionary, the simple meaning is  “a change from one state or condition to another.” 
  • Like from being single to being married.  Or being married back to being single again.
  • Like being employed to being unemployed.
  • And then from working for one client (usually a boss) to working for several or many (self-employed).
  • From being unaware to suddenly very aware. 

In fact, a new awareness often triggers a transition.  While we are always changing and morphing almost every day, there are definitely MAJOR transitions like the ones I’m describing.

Transitions cannot be avoided and are life’s hugest learning opportunities. But, because they take you out of your comfort zone, they also make you nervous, fearful and uncertain.  However, with certain tools, you can be soothed and learn new profitable and passionate ways to live your life, and it's important that you have some tools because it won't be your last change.  Here are some tips:

1)    If you wonder if you’re facing a transition, I can tell you that almost all transitions begin with something going wrong – meaning something happens that takes you out of what has become your previously normal way of living.  

2)    It is not the end of the world – in fact, think of it as the beginning of a new and better way of life.  All endings contain the seeds of new beginnings.

3)    Focus on what might be possible, rather than what you have left behind. Give some thought to what you might want to create in a different future.  It will make you feel more empowered.

4)    Get clarity about what would fulfill your next stage.  Most people cannot do it alone – you just don’t have the perspective.  Get professional help. Somewhere.  This is not just because this is what I do – whether it is me or a Fired Up group or a career counselor or coach you are drawn to or a class or workshop – do not rely on yourself.  I have a coach because I need the same perspective. You can only think with your own thoughts – you need someone else’s.

5)    Get support. Find others who are also in, a transition.  Sometimes it becomes difficult to relate to your present friends and associates who are NOT facing your situation.  (This is the primary reason Stephanie Rose and I started “Women in Transition” – to give a place for women to have a place to meet other women and share.)  Being with others like you makes you feel less alone or crazy and helps you share resources.

Finally, give yourself time. All transitions take time and we are often so uncomfortable we just want to rush through it, taking an inappropriate job, picking an unfulfilling partner, and taking actions that make our situation more complicated.

Relax, take it easy, get support.  All is well.  You just need some time to bloom.



Friday, February 13, 2015

The Best Kind of Valentine



For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

  1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
  2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
  3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
  4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
  5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Nightly Ritual for Daytime Success



Are you always looking for the next bright shiny object to improve your business? There is a proven strategy immediately available that can have an immediate effect on your business and life. And you can implement and use it in your business right now! In fact, I’ve been using this powerful technique for years. It costs absolutely nothing and requires no fancy tools. 

Here’s how it works: 

At the end of each day, I take a few minutes to think about 5 things that I’m grateful for. This includes small acts of kindness like a stranger who smiled at me, a great parking spot, or someone who held the door open for me. If you don’t acknowledge these small moments of happiness, they will be easily forgotten. 


The key to successfully cultivating an attitude of gratitude is not feeling gratitude. It’s PRACTICING gratitude. Try to think about what you’re grateful for at least once a day. Write it down in a gratitude journal or make a note in your iPhone. The simple act of prioritizing gratitude and counting your blessings will reveal an enormous power that promotes happiness and success. 

Does this sound too good to be true? I promise that the return on even the smallest investment in your gratitude practice will dramatically improve your personal and business life. Give it a try and see what happens!