Friday, February 13, 2015

The Best Kind of Valentine

For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

  1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
  2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
  3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
  4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
  5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!

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