Sunday, February 22, 2015

What the H*** is Transition?

A lot of people seem to be doing it, but what the H*** does "Transition" mean?
According to the dictionary, the simple meaning is  “a change from one state or condition to another.” 
  • Like from being single to being married.  Or being married back to being single again.
  • Like being employed to being unemployed.
  • And then from working for one client (usually a boss) to working for several or many (self-employed).
  • From being unaware to suddenly very aware. 

In fact, a new awareness often triggers a transition.  While we are always changing and morphing almost every day, there are definitely MAJOR transitions like the ones I’m describing.

Transitions cannot be avoided and are life’s hugest learning opportunities. But, because they take you out of your comfort zone, they also make you nervous, fearful and uncertain.  However, with certain tools, you can be soothed and learn new profitable and passionate ways to live your life, and it's important that you have some tools because it won't be your last change.  Here are some tips:

1)    If you wonder if you’re facing a transition, I can tell you that almost all transitions begin with something going wrong – meaning something happens that takes you out of what has become your previously normal way of living.  

2)    It is not the end of the world – in fact, think of it as the beginning of a new and better way of life.  All endings contain the seeds of new beginnings.

3)    Focus on what might be possible, rather than what you have left behind. Give some thought to what you might want to create in a different future.  It will make you feel more empowered.

4)    Get clarity about what would fulfill your next stage.  Most people cannot do it alone – you just don’t have the perspective.  Get professional help. Somewhere.  This is not just because this is what I do – whether it is me or a Fired Up group or a career counselor or coach you are drawn to or a class or workshop – do not rely on yourself.  I have a coach because I need the same perspective. You can only think with your own thoughts – you need someone else’s.

5)    Get support. Find others who are also in, a transition.  Sometimes it becomes difficult to relate to your present friends and associates who are NOT facing your situation.  (This is the primary reason Stephanie Rose and I started “Women in Transition” – to give a place for women to have a place to meet other women and share.)  Being with others like you makes you feel less alone or crazy and helps you share resources.

Finally, give yourself time. All transitions take time and we are often so uncomfortable we just want to rush through it, taking an inappropriate job, picking an unfulfilling partner, and taking actions that make our situation more complicated.

Relax, take it easy, get support.  All is well.  You just need some time to bloom.

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