Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Are We Having Fun Yet?

As I did my own visioning for this year and had to come to a startling realization: I haven’t been having as much fun as I could – and I am a FUN girl!

But like most many service provider/entrepreneurs, my priorities have been servicing my clients, attracting new clients, and learning more about expanding my business. I have carefully scheduled in my family, working out, personal development, and those things which will seemingly give me a higher quality of life.

Despite my best efforts, I admit something has been missing. As we look at the different areas of our lives, where is the slot that says “Giggling, spontaneity, joy with no goal, creative expression, silliness, new unexpected experiences, escape, and side-splitting laughter?” THAT’S what’s been missing!!

Here is what I have discovered has blocked me, and my commitment to changing it. (Wow! I’m saying this in public!) Maybe you can join me!

1) I have been thinking I need to schedule “fun” events for “when I have time.”

I expressed that I needed more fun to the attendees of my Vision Workshop last week, and, lo and behold, I received a couple of amazing fun invitations from people I absolutely love! But, at first I could feel myself resisting it. What!! I could feel myself fearing it would interfere with my work commitments; that it might (hear this) take too much time! But joy energizes so won’t it only enhance my work time? If I wait until I have time – well, I won’t have much time. New Commitment: I can schedule work around my opportunities for fun and joy.

2) I think I need to be an adult; sometimes I need to act like a child

Being an adult can be stressful. Children – icons of play and fun – do almost everything in the moment. When they tire of an activity, they stop and go to something new. But, for me, the adult, the suggestion of an unexpected invitation to lunch, a surprise mid-day walk on the beach, or an unplanned stop at the park strikes a chord of overwhelm, rather than the source of re-vitalizing one’s life. I think: “Don’t these people know I have a schedule? I can’t just drop everything!” But, I have been changing this in the past 6 months, and am now finding these surprise adventures some of my most enjoyable times. No one has had a crisis because I went on a walk or shopped for art, but I returned a more energized, passionate entrepreneur.

3) Not everything achieves a goal; pointless activity is good.

As a vision and goals coach, I tend to be activity focused, so I am better at “fun” if it comes with meeting a goal. The doctor says to relax because it’s good for my heart; I attend a fun event where I can also network; and so forth. But, here’s the truth. My adorable husband is the most grounded person in the Universe, and we experience the most laughter and silliness going to Costco or Home Depot. We have always been a somewhat Seinfeld-like couple where our best times are doing absolutely nothing. Yes, we do travel and do some exotic things, but we don't need to. In fact, we seem to gravitate toward large wholesale stores for our best times – we don’t usually buy much – but the walking around the store watching the people and playing with the shopping cart has brought us hours of amusement. We love Palm Desert – and their Wal-Mart! I have learned that most of what I experience as joyful is in the moment, and often entirely pointless….and incredibly rewarding.

My conclusions are that I need to be more spontaneous, say yes more, and be in the flow more. The resulting passion, energy and varied experiences will bond me to the people around me, and actually cause me to be a more effective service provider and business woman.

Well, now that I have confessed, what about you? I’d love to hear about some of your thoughts about fun in your life and what kind of role it plays. I have no workshop on it and no offer here – just my personal thoughts to start of the New Year!!

Love to hear yours.