How Fear of Making a Mistake Limits Your Success

If you are thinking about leaving your job, starting a business, or expanding your business, I'll just bet you may be experiencing some fear of making a mistake.

For instance, have you ever experienced this?

You have an idea - a good idea that you're excited about. Then maybe you think: "I could turn this idea into a book - and then into DVD's or maybe even a multi-media project.  Maybe I could add graphics and special effects. Wait!! I don't know how to do any of that.  I don't even know if there is a market for this, and I don't know how to find out. Probably no one wants it anyway. What am I thinking!!”

This all happened in a split second.  And now you're feeling stuck because you've run out of ideas. And, you are terrified to make a decision for fear it will be the wrong one, and, you feel awful about yourself because you can't seem to make any progress.

This "fear of making a mistake pattern" is "perfectionism at work."  Perfectionism is an addiction to lack.  That's why perfectionists struggle to succeed.  The perfectionist only sees what isn't there, what they don't know, what the problems are. They will argue for their limitations. They will explore all the possibilities for making mistakes. Their lives and businesses are filled with "Not Enough".....not enough confidence, decision-making, and risk taking resulting in not enough clients, support, staff, and income. You may even think: "Why can't I get it  right!"

Now, we all have moments of feeling inadequate.  This "not enough" comes from fear, uncertainty, insecurity, and terror of making decisions in case they're wrong, and we learned it early on in childhood no matter how stellar our parents may have been.  Many of us may not have had anything close to the ideal upbringing, and we are still viewing our lives and work through those younger eyes.

I have certainly experienced this for myself, and realized at one point, I was trying to run a grown up business with a 5 year old emotional body.

So here are a few tips to break the cycle:                                                     

•     Recognize you are afraid, but understand it is NOT the smart, savvy, experienced adult person you are, but a very scared 5 year old.  (Yes, you do have a very adult side to you.)  But, treat yourself with gentleness and respect just like you would any young child. If you are critical, that part of you will shut down even more, and your business can really stall. Like it or not, the child in all of us runs our world, so be kind.

•      Lower your expectations.  Keep it light.  Experiment often. One of my favorite quotes is from a former coach of mine:   Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.  She also told me that if I wanted to be successful there is no room for perfectionism. I have found that to be sage advice.

•      The More Mistakes, the More Success.  Mistakes are just experiments that didn't turn out as expected. Major industries have evolved from big mistakes. In 1970 Spencer Silver at 3M was told to make a strong glue, but it was a tragic failure because he only produced this slightly sticky substance, which is now known as Post-It Notes, 3M's most successful product.

Ruth Wakefield, proprietor of the Toll House Inn, was having trouble with her cookies and added some broken pieces of chocolate that, to her surprise, never melted properly in the batter. Voila!  The chocolate chip cookie was born and was named after her inn and is still the most popular cookie in the world providing jobs to thousands of workers.  You get the idea.  The list of success from mistakes is very long.

•    Take it Slow.  If you have a great idea, or any idea, get support from other people so you don't race into the "What- made- me- think- I- could-do- this- so- it's- over" mode. Run it past trusted advisors, a coach or mastermind group so they can help you break it down into pieces and talk you off the ledge. You need support and soothing, and most of us just can't do it for ourselves. 

•     Any Action Creates Momentum.  Just keep focused on what you want and take tiny steps. You don't have to do everything overnight. Actually the big approach usually slows us down because we get scared. With smaller steps, you can easily self-correct.  You're less likely to make big errors, but action, ANY action creates momentum. It doesn't have to be big or bold; just consistent.

And, one day, you'll realize you have achieved a goal, and it was so imperfect and non-stressful that you will actually wonder how it happened!!  Here's to achieving your success and enjoying all its imperfections!

Overcoming Fear of Success

Are you drowning in invitations to dramatically increase your income, create a bigger plan, or achieve astronomical goals? I recently received an e-mail asking if I was “tired of taking small steps instead of making quantum leaps.” They said that if I was ready to take a quantum leap, I could join a 3 day program, and leap away with them.

I'm not ready, thank you, and the truth is most of us are terrified at a quantum leap. Did you know that the brain is designed so that any new challenge or opportunity – no matter how beneficial – will trigger some degree of fear? The bigger the challenge, the greater the fear. The idea that we can avoid fear in the face of success is pretty much impossible.

Once the fear response gets triggered, we unconsciously make excuses to resist any change and stay where we are. We say things to ourselves like “I’m too busy to deal with changing any behaviors right now,” “I don’t have the time to learn how to do new things,” and my personal favorite, “I don’t have the money to invest in myself today – I’ll do I it later when I have more money.” (Of course, that probably won’t happen until you change some things.)

This is why we find ourselves with big ideas yet resistant to implementation.

When our fear is triggered, we may experience one or more of these success-blocking behaviors: (1) lack of focus, (2) difficulty implementing ideas (3) perfectionism and (4) procrastination.

So, when you find yourself experiencing some of this beahavior, what can you do about it? I can’t tell you how to not be fearful – if you’re on the path to success, you’re going to experience it. (Give up, you’re nervous.). But I can tell you what really works…

Take extremely small steps. Consistently. Over an extended period of time.

It’s magic.

According to one of my former teachers, Dr. Robert Maurer, author of One Small Step Can Change Your Life, and psychological researcher at UCLA, “small, easily achievable goals – such as picking up just one paper clip on a chronically messy desk – let you tiptoe past the amygdala (fear center), keeping it asleep without setting off alarm bells.” He explains that while you take these small steps you are actually reprogramming the new nerve pathways for your desired change so that it happens almost without you realizing it.

Our Fired Up Mastermind Network™ system is built around this very principle so we get to see it in action all the time. We see successes created around amazingly small steps as a matter of course.

Recently Donna in our “Nooner” Mastermind team, has been transitioning from graphic arts into a voice-over career, but she also wanted to leverage her creativity to open another stream of income. “I can’t even imagine what that would be. I used to sew, but I have no idea what I could do with that. It’s overwhelming.”

The step was simple. Visit a fabric store. Let go of what she needed to do with it. Indeed, she went with her sister on an outing and loved it. “There’s something that happened inside of me at that store. I got in touch with my love of sewing. Now the ideas and opportunities are just coming effortlessly. I am so excited.”

Donna’s new ideas that may be up and running far more quickly than she would have ever imagined, but her new ventures did not come from the search for a quantum leap, but rather a focus on the smallest possible step.

If you want real magic to live a life you truly love, start small…….and keep it that way for a long time.

(If you're ready to go really small, try our Fired Up Mastermind Network™.)