What's the First Step to Leaving Your Job?

Jane (not her real name) is sitting in her corporate cubicle wondering:

 “This is not a horrible job, and I like the steady money – I NEED the steady money – but it’s kind of mind numbing and I just don’t feel like I’m doing something that’s going to make a real difference to anyone.  This can’t be my life purpose, but I have no idea what else I can do so how am I ever going to get out of this job?  Should I make a career change? Should I start a business? I have no idea where to even begin.”

If you share Jane’s pain, this is a common dilemma.  You’re pretty sure you don’t want to continue on your present path, but how do you carve out what you DO want to do?

Willingness to have some Clarity is the first step to moving forward. Some people are afraid to get some clarity for fear that once they do, it will be required that they turn their lives upside down. Not true, because transition can take a long time, but you have to know vaguely where to aim your energy to get started.

Vaguely is the clue. You don’t have to know everything, but you do need a sense of the “essence” of what moves and inspires you.  Some of the signs to look at are what you enjoyed as a child.  Were you creative?  Were you a Lego kid who loved to build things? Were some of your best moments outdoors, in nature, or indoors playing house?  Did you have hopes and dreams that seem far away now?

Think it’s silly?  That little person is probably closer to who you truly are than what you are doing today.  You may be older, but the spirit of that kid is still inside you and always will be.  Try to remember times you were excited, stimulated or happy.

Maybe you were discouraged from doing things you loved (“you’ll never make any money doing art, find something that will be practical and make money.”) Or something uncomfortable happened when you expressed yourself so you decided to get a safe job and avoid that trauma.

Of course, there is more than childhood to look at – and that’s what I do when I work with someone is to take account of past, present and future; then get them much clearer about what will definitely work and what really doesn’t. But childhood is a great place to start.

As you start to get more of a sense of your inner passions, just BEGIN to go in that new direction.  Don’t think about a job or business yet, stay at your desk, but start doing things that have the potential to be fun. Experiment, take classes, and discard what doesn’t work. If you always follow what has energy, a passionate path will emerge.

Let me know what works for you and what you’re finding out!

Lower Your Risk for Risk Taking

Many of my clients could have saved themselves a lot of anguish if they had come to me sooner.  In fact, one of the most common phrases I hear after the first session is “Wow, I really should have done this a long time ago."  But, I know why it takes whatever it takes.

For instance, what holds you back from exploring new ideas, approaching your boss for a raise, changing careers, or transitioning into your own business? Fear of risking. Most of us allow the fear to completely overshadow the possibility of far greater happiness and success.

But, if .you do not risk, your life (and career and relationships) become stagnant. Are you bored? Discontent?  It’s a clear signal you aren’t risking enough.

Here are simple tips to lower your risk of risk taking:

1) Don’t take stupid risks.   This is a risk where the possibility of a positive outcome is limited.  Think lottery. Gambling. People who are terrified to invest a few hundred dollars to invest in personal career development will, however, spend $10-50 a week on the lottery where there is a million in one chance of a return on investment.  That adds up to $500-$2500 a year….money you could have spent on risks that would have produced a far more positive result.

2) Risk on positive the outcomes.  Always look at what you’re going to WIN, not LOSE, and stay focused on that.  Focusing on the fear only produces more fear.  For instance, asking for a raise or a different opportunity at work has within it great possible outcomes.  The worst thing that can happen is that they say no, but you may have planted a seed for the future, nonetheless. The positive far outweighs the negative consequences. Other examples are taking a new class where the worst case is you won’t learn anything (highly unlikely) or going to a networking event to meet new people (and you don’t meet anyone) ….but remember, you may meet that great contact that can offer a job or bring you business!

3) Risk in small steps. You don’t start running with a marathon. Risking is a practice.  You want to work about 1-2 inches outside of your comfort zone.  Staying in your comfort zone will keep you – and your life – boring and stuck. If you take too big a risk at one time, you can shut yourself off emotionally. Maybe the first steps to the marathon is running 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week and then building up to a 5K which eventually leads you to a marathon.  Find others who want to run, and slowly you will be ready .to take the bigger risk.

4) Risk consistently and often.  Be accountable. Risk is a muscle. The more you take small risks and move them to bigger risks, the stronger your muscle and ability to take risks in all areas of your life.  In our mastermind teams, we take the 2 week approach – a minor upgrade and commitment every 2 weeks, and then you become accountable for that action in the next meeting to your support team. People have moved mountains, built businesses, tripled their income, and dealt with devastating life events through this process.

Find a place to be accountable regularly and you will discover you have significantly expanded your ability to risk – and it wasn’t even scary!

The 3 Phases of Transition

When I was in the 4th Grade, my teacher explained the process of how a perfectly good caterpillar morphed into this icky looking thing called a cocoon and then eventually evolved into a beautiful butterfly. I learned then that there are 3 simple stages of change and transition that are universal. You may be in one of them right now.

Are you facing a transition? Maybe you are thinking about changing a careers or the way you do your business. Maybe you want to do something different with your life, but you have no idea what that would be. Perhaps you are retiring or are recently divorced. Have you moved or experienced the loss of someone you love? Here are the 3 phases of typical life transitions that everyone experiences:

Phase 1:  SOMETHING GOES WRONG.  

They all begin the same way: with an end.  You lose a job, an important client, or even a loved one. It is the END of something, all new beginnings start with an ending.

Suddenly you no longer identify with the person you have been, but you are nowhere near the person you want to become – and maybe don’t even have any idea who this new person will be.

Phase 2:   THE EMPTY SPACE.

You are at the edge of one cliff, seeking the other side, but with a sense of emptiness and loss in between. It’s literally the bridge in between. It feels like a void. It is a void. You are grieving.

How do you get through it? Here is my advice:

1) Don’t rush.

 
This is a time when you need to internalize more than externalize. Take time to be alone. Don’t rush through this stage even though it’s uncomfortable. (Most of us are desperate to get through it which actually prolongs it.) This time is the fertile ground upon which you building your life as a butterfly. Spend some time exploring possible visions of a new future. You will not only feel better, but the energy of the new visions will actually be creating it.

2) Discover More About Yourself

Get clearer about your deeper self. It will pay off handsomely. Find out more about what really inspires, motivates and impassions you. It may be time to make new choices, and you want to base it on fresh information.

3) Get support.

 
As a Mentoring and Mastermind coach, I believe there is magic in being with others who are also going through transitions. You are not alone. Support eases the pain considerably.

Phase 3:  RENEWAL.  Stage 3 of transition, is the butterfly emerging. Remember, we are always renewing ourselves – whether we choose to or not. It’s part of life. But while the “cocoon” part is still icky, there is no doubt you will evolve into a butterfly.

Transition is not a punishment, nor the ending of your life. It is the ending of some part of your life for sure, but that is only because you have a New Beginning coming. We tend not to see that. We handle our endings badly because – well, we see them ONLY as endings.

So, for whatever endings you may be experiencing, remember it is the signal that a New Beginning is coming.

If you're in this process and would like some help, be sure to check out our programs.

Mary Lyn

Stuck: 4 Tips to Break the"Stuck" Spell

Jeez, with the dramatic levels of change going on in the Universe today, many of us are feeling disoriented, uncertain, and exhausted from trying to figure out things that are beyond our ability to figure out. I hear the stories all the time. We don't know what to do about our work, our money, and our future. We feel immobilized as if the Economy Fairy has put us under a spell.

In other words, we feel stuck. Is there any hope to break the spell? While there's no Handsome Prince waiting nearby, here's 4 tips that have worked for clients over my 20 years of coaching:

1) Don't Rush. Understand there is always a space between Endings and New Beginnings. While it feels empty, it's a critical to re-birthing. A caterpillar cocoons before it becomes a butterfly. All things in nature follow the same process. Rather than operating from panic, allow yourself to be still. Most of us have been so over-productive most of our lives that days "doing nothing," is viewed as wasteful. Then we beat ourselves up and try to move faster.But doing nothing is actually the stage when the most creativity is occurring. Creativity and new ideas need oxygen....space...in which to ferment and breathe. Allow that process to take place as it will serve you in the long run.

2) Identify with a Vision. It doesn't have to look anything like your old life...and probably won't. But you do get to choose your Vision. Let go. Get passionate. Get imaginative. A gardener puts seeds in the soil with a vision of what it will look like come Spring. No matter how fallow your life may look now, start planting things you really want to see bloom in your life later on. Go to adult school, take internet classes, blog, and hang out with people you think are really cool even if they can't help you with business.

3) Experiment and Move. Try new stuff. Visit new places, explore different activities. Transition is the ideal time of life to experiment. You'll learn new sides to yourself (which may or may not improve your marketability) and you will become more alive. That aliveness makes you powerfully attractive to all things: other humans, opportunity and money. If you stagnate when you feel stuck, you will only feel more stuck. Physical movement and activity can change your perspective very quickly...and open you to unforeseen opportunities.

4) Get Support. Of course, I am a huge believer in group support, collaboration and masterminding. One hour of masterminding can dramatically alter your outlook because you get someone else's ideas rather than constantly recycling the same limiting beliefs over and over, and wonder why things are not changing.

Try some of these, and let me know how it goes.

Overcoming Fear of Success

Are you drowning in invitations to dramatically increase your income, create a bigger plan, or achieve astronomical goals? I recently received an e-mail asking if I was “tired of taking small steps instead of making quantum leaps.” They said that if I was ready to take a quantum leap, I could join a 3 day program, and leap away with them.

I'm not ready, thank you, and the truth is most of us are terrified at a quantum leap. Did you know that the brain is designed so that any new challenge or opportunity – no matter how beneficial – will trigger some degree of fear? The bigger the challenge, the greater the fear. The idea that we can avoid fear in the face of success is pretty much impossible.

Once the fear response gets triggered, we unconsciously make excuses to resist any change and stay where we are. We say things to ourselves like “I’m too busy to deal with changing any behaviors right now,” “I don’t have the time to learn how to do new things,” and my personal favorite, “I don’t have the money to invest in myself today – I’ll do I it later when I have more money.” (Of course, that probably won’t happen until you change some things.)

This is why we find ourselves with big ideas yet resistant to implementation.

When our fear is triggered, we may experience one or more of these success-blocking behaviors: (1) lack of focus, (2) difficulty implementing ideas (3) perfectionism and (4) procrastination.

So, when you find yourself experiencing some of this beahavior, what can you do about it? I can’t tell you how to not be fearful – if you’re on the path to success, you’re going to experience it. (Give up, you’re nervous.). But I can tell you what really works…

Take extremely small steps. Consistently. Over an extended period of time.

It’s magic.

According to one of my former teachers, Dr. Robert Maurer, author of One Small Step Can Change Your Life, and psychological researcher at UCLA, “small, easily achievable goals – such as picking up just one paper clip on a chronically messy desk – let you tiptoe past the amygdala (fear center), keeping it asleep without setting off alarm bells.” He explains that while you take these small steps you are actually reprogramming the new nerve pathways for your desired change so that it happens almost without you realizing it.

Our Fired Up Mastermind Network™ system is built around this very principle so we get to see it in action all the time. We see successes created around amazingly small steps as a matter of course.

Recently Donna in our “Nooner” Mastermind team, has been transitioning from graphic arts into a voice-over career, but she also wanted to leverage her creativity to open another stream of income. “I can’t even imagine what that would be. I used to sew, but I have no idea what I could do with that. It’s overwhelming.”

The step was simple. Visit a fabric store. Let go of what she needed to do with it. Indeed, she went with her sister on an outing and loved it. “There’s something that happened inside of me at that store. I got in touch with my love of sewing. Now the ideas and opportunities are just coming effortlessly. I am so excited.”

Donna’s new ideas that may be up and running far more quickly than she would have ever imagined, but her new ventures did not come from the search for a quantum leap, but rather a focus on the smallest possible step.

If you want real magic to live a life you truly love, start small…….and keep it that way for a long time.

(If you're ready to go really small, try our Fired Up Mastermind Network™.)

4 Positive Results of the Economy

I know you are familiar with all the negative aspects of our economy today. After over 20 years working with clients in transition, I am very familiar with the process, and realize the entire world is in a classic transition process!

Every transition process begins with something going wrong, (as it most certainly has), and the transition piece is where we begin the renewal process. It is scary, exciting, and uncertain – a fair review of our situation today. But, this major shift is offering some interesting positive results and new opportunities:

1) IMPOSED RE-EVALUATION: Certainly as a nation and planet we are re-evaluating everything from our policies and foreign relations to economic structures. Similarly, as individuals, most of us are re-evaluating our choices including core values, work, family and how we have spent our money. For many it’s long overdue. We’re finally forced to finally release jobs that bored us, work that doesn’t fulfill. This is a positive result. One of my clients made a comment awhile ago about her experience as a result of 9/11: “If it weren’t for 9/11, I wouldn’t have lost my job. But it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to re-evaluate my life, make a career change and start my own business. Today I love my life! Without that kind of crisis, I may have gone along in that old life a long, long time, letting it just sap the life out of me.”

2) RENEWED FAITH: The last few months have seen a dramatic increase in church attendance. People are being driven back to their spiritual roots or seeking new outlets. Many of us feel moved connect with a Higher Power. It is said that we are always making the choice between fear and faith, and that whichever one we choose, cancels out the other. Faith and an uplifted heart will outperform just about any business building tactic. Sandy Gooch, founder of “Mrs. Gooch’s” which has since become Whole Foods Market here in Southern California commented that she would have failed if she knew that a mother of small children with no marketing or business background couldn’t build the empire she did. Her faith came first and created her success against all odds. If you’re focused on increasing your energy and relying on higher laws to create your results, you can accomplish anything.

3) RE-CONNECTION TO COMMUNITY: The uncertainty has led to a marked increase in people seeking comfort and community. Job seekers are filling hotel meeting rooms and bars, banding together to help and support one another. Networking is suddenly a vital skill. Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In are all thriving. People are reconnecting with old college roommates, former schoolmates and lost loves. It’s great! We are all one and there is comfort in being together as never before. In January 2009 I started Fired Up for Success Mastermind Network and it is steadily growing because people not only want to connect, but more than ever need to keep focused and their energy fired up so that they can attract what they need for the next step. This trend of connecting to community is contributing to making the world a better place to live.

4) CREATIVITY AND RE-INVENTION ABOUND: “Necessity is the Mother of Invention.” In my book, “The 8 Myths of Making a Living,” I talk about my dad who was a young man in the Depression and saw that period as a time of “opportunity.” He invested heavily in stocks – which were really cheap! The result was he became a wealthy man and taught me that all economies offer opportunity! He taught me to be an “opportunity seeker,” no matter what is going on.

I have clients coming to me saying, “What I did to market myself or make a living a year ago – or 6 months ago –is not longer working! Now what do I do?” Take heart: There is plenty of opportunity; it’s just being re-tooled.

There are more creative ideas than ever. Once you have re-evaluated what you really want, gotten support to keep your spirits “fired up,” and have community, you can create just about anything. That’s the good new for today’s economy!!