The Gratitude Game

The Gratitude Game

by Mary Lyn Miller

As Thanksgiving approaches, we often think about gratitude, and while I have published this before, I am often asked to do it again.  And as we are looking forward to a new year and new visions and goals, it's important to be grateful for what we have first before we race to move on!

While your probably view yourself as thankful for your blessings, we determine what we believe to be a "blessing" and what is not.  However, some of your greatest blessings may not initially look all that positive in the beginning.  For instance, my experiencing Cancer is what turned my life around and opened the door to a good health consciousness and rewarding life work.  Today I always give thanks for the gift of Cancer, but at the time it was fearful and overwhelming. The first thing to understand about gratitude is that it is not a selective process.

                                                 

The Gratitude Game begins with the premise that genuine thankfulness begins with being grateful for everything..yes, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life.

These are the steps to the Game:

1.    Make a list of anything you perceive as positive in your life. The people who love you are a good start. Anything good about your work, your relationships, special advantages or support you've received, anything nice someone else has done for you.  Just write down everything you can think of that is good about your life. Be truly grateful for it.

2.    Next write down everything ordinary that you take for granted: the roof over your head, your sight, your hearing, the ability to chew, your health, the warm California climate (you can tell I'm from the Midwest) and so forth. When you really think about it, there are so many small, inconsequential conditions that conspire to create a good lifestyle.  This is a good time to recognize them.

3.    Finally, write down any painful, uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and events, some of which may feel uncomfortable or difficult right now…and get grateful for them.  Why? This is how we learn the lessons of life. No one said it was all going to be easy.  But, gratitude opens you up. It helps you release the resistance (oh, why did this have to happen to me?) and embrace your difficult circumstances and allow the most good to come from them.  What creates your reality is not what happens to you, but how you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Life does have challenges, but there is a positive side for each and every one of them.  Be grateful for the gift inside of every heartache even if you can’t see it right now.

4.    Give thanks for those blessings that are on the way. Feel them coming. Expect success.  Expect the best and be grateful for it.

After completing this little game, how do you feel?  

Everyone who plays is a winner because I'll tell you a secret, gratitude allows you to receive more; it is the foundation of all abundance. An open, gracious heart is a powerful magnet for good. Money, opportunity, and joy flows toward gratitude.  Try it and see.

It will prepare you for a glorious Thanksgiving!

What's the First Step to Leaving Your Job?

Jane (not her real name) is sitting in her corporate cubicle wondering:

 “This is not a horrible job, and I like the steady money – I NEED the steady money – but it’s kind of mind numbing and I just don’t feel like I’m doing something that’s going to make a real difference to anyone.  This can’t be my life purpose, but I have no idea what else I can do so how am I ever going to get out of this job?  Should I make a career change? Should I start a business? I have no idea where to even begin.”

If you share Jane’s pain, this is a common dilemma.  You’re pretty sure you don’t want to continue on your present path, but how do you carve out what you DO want to do?

Willingness to have some Clarity is the first step to moving forward. Some people are afraid to get some clarity for fear that once they do, it will be required that they turn their lives upside down. Not true, because transition can take a long time, but you have to know vaguely where to aim your energy to get started.

Vaguely is the clue. You don’t have to know everything, but you do need a sense of the “essence” of what moves and inspires you.  Some of the signs to look at are what you enjoyed as a child.  Were you creative?  Were you a Lego kid who loved to build things? Were some of your best moments outdoors, in nature, or indoors playing house?  Did you have hopes and dreams that seem far away now?

Think it’s silly?  That little person is probably closer to who you truly are than what you are doing today.  You may be older, but the spirit of that kid is still inside you and always will be.  Try to remember times you were excited, stimulated or happy.

Maybe you were discouraged from doing things you loved (“you’ll never make any money doing art, find something that will be practical and make money.”) Or something uncomfortable happened when you expressed yourself so you decided to get a safe job and avoid that trauma.

Of course, there is more than childhood to look at – and that’s what I do when I work with someone is to take account of past, present and future; then get them much clearer about what will definitely work and what really doesn’t. But childhood is a great place to start.

As you start to get more of a sense of your inner passions, just BEGIN to go in that new direction.  Don’t think about a job or business yet, stay at your desk, but start doing things that have the potential to be fun. Experiment, take classes, and discard what doesn’t work. If you always follow what has energy, a passionate path will emerge.

Let me know what works for you and what you’re finding out!

Entrepreneurs: Still Doing It Last Year's Way?

I recently celebrated an anniversary with a friend and I asked if she wanted to go back to a place we had been to before. Surprisingly, she replied emphatically, "Oh, not at all. We've already been there. Let's go someplace that doesn't represent where we've been, but where we're going."

How often, I thought, have I chosen to go back to the same place because I am familiar with it? The process of choosing a new meeting place with my friend became a larger metaphor for life.
What represents the future to you? This is a very different question from “What worked before?” After all, in this new economy, almost nothing works like it did before. We are forced to give up a lot of old ideas and fill in with something very different and new. What is that for you?

A client came to me because her thriving business was connected to real estate and her income had plummeted. We had to step back and go beyond how it was before and create whole new strategy and vision for her business based on her talents and what people need NOW. She had to adjust, let go, and commit to a new path. It was unfamiliar, but turned out to be much more profitable. She got the clarity and support she needed to create an entirely new approach to her life and work. I believe that is what makes the difference.

We cannot do it like we did before on a myriad of levels. What went before is over. It’s not going to “go back.” There isn’t going to be a “do-over.” The real issue is “What are you going to do NOW!” Your clients, bosses and colleagues have new needs; how are you going to use your passion and talents to meet these needs? Therein lay the seed to your success. These are the questions we all need to ask ourselves at various junctures in our life, no matter what the economy.

One of the old ideas is that you can do it on your own. That rugged individualistic ethic came over with the pilgrims who, by the way, did nothing alone. They were entirely a community based society. Community works because you need ideas that are not yours! I know my mind automatically takes me back to "where I've already been." It's trained to do that. Without new input, I only know how to do old things. (That’s one of the many reasons why our Mastermind community (www.firedupforsuccess.com/mastermind.htm) work so well.) Community gives you resources and feedback you would never have on your own.

The formula is this: Your talent and passion + meeting real (or perceived) needs + a strong support system for regular feedback and resources = success. If you want to experience something more promising, more profitable and new, you have to DO something new.

When I thought about what my friend had said, I did some soul searching and then asked for feedback. It made me realize I want to go in the direction of more laughter, fun and freedom, along with some risk and adventure…and maybe some just plain childhood fantasy.
So where did I go with my friend? Disneyland!

What are you doing to let go of the old way of doing things which may actually be hurting you, your career and your business and re-engineer yourself to meet today’s needs? If you want a fresh strategy, read more at www.firedupforsuccess.com/coaching.htm.