Will you still love me when I'm 64? (Beatles)

When this song came out (yes, I was alive) I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be 64, much less be loveable at that age.
But time changes all that.  We just celebrated my mom’s 90th and I find myself somewhat in that same mystified position again.

Mom is probably as close to the best-case scenario of what can happen when aging.  She is financially secure and able to live in a very well appointed assisted living situation where all her needs are provided for; she has 2 doting children living within miles of her who provide social needs and companionship; she’s enormously popular with her age group, and at 90 seems to have had almost no mental decline.  Her love of jewelry, make up and shopping has not waivered.

All is not perfect. She can no longer walk on her own; has narcolepsy, neuropathy and some other “n” words and sports several monitors underneath her cute stylish jeans and periodically visits Emergency, but she is high spirited, engaged in life, able to whip through a department store on her walker at amazing speeds  (gives new meaning to “shop 'til you drop”) and spends no time feeling sorry for herself.  (This is the #1 trait I admire.)  While many her age are drooling into a cup, she’s planning her trip to Scandanavia and Russia this summer.

I don’t know if this is my destiny – we can do what we can to create great outcomes.  For me, having a business and helping others seems to be my way of being the best I can be right now, but we are not all equally blessed.  My husband did just about everything right that he could, was a rugged athlete until shortly before he passed, never saw a vegetable he didn’t love, and gave tirelessly of himself helping others.  Yet, at the end he lost his memory.  But he had an amazing life that other people have never forgotten.

That’s all we can hope for.  That we’ve honored our gifts in a big way; that we have loved as passionately as we can and have been grateful for all of it.  I did not know I would end up here when I started writing, but that’s what true direction is I think; being authentically who you are for as long as you’ve been given, however long that is.

PS:  If you're concerned about your aging and want to be sure you find the right direction for you at this point in your life, contact me at mlm@firedupforsuccess.com for a no cost chat.

The Gratitude Game

The Gratitude Game

by Mary Lyn Miller

As Thanksgiving approaches, we often think about gratitude, and while I have published this before, I am often asked to do it again.  And as we are looking forward to a new year and new visions and goals, it's important to be grateful for what we have first before we race to move on!

While your probably view yourself as thankful for your blessings, we determine what we believe to be a "blessing" and what is not.  However, some of your greatest blessings may not initially look all that positive in the beginning.  For instance, my experiencing Cancer is what turned my life around and opened the door to a good health consciousness and rewarding life work.  Today I always give thanks for the gift of Cancer, but at the time it was fearful and overwhelming. The first thing to understand about gratitude is that it is not a selective process.

                                                 

The Gratitude Game begins with the premise that genuine thankfulness begins with being grateful for everything..yes, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life.

These are the steps to the Game:

1.    Make a list of anything you perceive as positive in your life. The people who love you are a good start. Anything good about your work, your relationships, special advantages or support you've received, anything nice someone else has done for you.  Just write down everything you can think of that is good about your life. Be truly grateful for it.

2.    Next write down everything ordinary that you take for granted: the roof over your head, your sight, your hearing, the ability to chew, your health, the warm California climate (you can tell I'm from the Midwest) and so forth. When you really think about it, there are so many small, inconsequential conditions that conspire to create a good lifestyle.  This is a good time to recognize them.

3.    Finally, write down any painful, uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and events, some of which may feel uncomfortable or difficult right now…and get grateful for them.  Why? This is how we learn the lessons of life. No one said it was all going to be easy.  But, gratitude opens you up. It helps you release the resistance (oh, why did this have to happen to me?) and embrace your difficult circumstances and allow the most good to come from them.  What creates your reality is not what happens to you, but how you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Life does have challenges, but there is a positive side for each and every one of them.  Be grateful for the gift inside of every heartache even if you can’t see it right now.

4.    Give thanks for those blessings that are on the way. Feel them coming. Expect success.  Expect the best and be grateful for it.

After completing this little game, how do you feel?  

Everyone who plays is a winner because I'll tell you a secret, gratitude allows you to receive more; it is the foundation of all abundance. An open, gracious heart is a powerful magnet for good. Money, opportunity, and joy flows toward gratitude.  Try it and see.

It will prepare you for a glorious Thanksgiving!