The Gratitude Game

The Gratitude Game

by Mary Lyn Miller

As Thanksgiving approaches, we often think about gratitude, and while I have published this before, I am often asked to do it again.  And as we are looking forward to a new year and new visions and goals, it's important to be grateful for what we have first before we race to move on!

While your probably view yourself as thankful for your blessings, we determine what we believe to be a "blessing" and what is not.  However, some of your greatest blessings may not initially look all that positive in the beginning.  For instance, my experiencing Cancer is what turned my life around and opened the door to a good health consciousness and rewarding life work.  Today I always give thanks for the gift of Cancer, but at the time it was fearful and overwhelming. The first thing to understand about gratitude is that it is not a selective process.

                                                 

The Gratitude Game begins with the premise that genuine thankfulness begins with being grateful for everything..yes, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life.

These are the steps to the Game:

1.    Make a list of anything you perceive as positive in your life. The people who love you are a good start. Anything good about your work, your relationships, special advantages or support you've received, anything nice someone else has done for you.  Just write down everything you can think of that is good about your life. Be truly grateful for it.

2.    Next write down everything ordinary that you take for granted: the roof over your head, your sight, your hearing, the ability to chew, your health, the warm California climate (you can tell I'm from the Midwest) and so forth. When you really think about it, there are so many small, inconsequential conditions that conspire to create a good lifestyle.  This is a good time to recognize them.

3.    Finally, write down any painful, uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and events, some of which may feel uncomfortable or difficult right now…and get grateful for them.  Why? This is how we learn the lessons of life. No one said it was all going to be easy.  But, gratitude opens you up. It helps you release the resistance (oh, why did this have to happen to me?) and embrace your difficult circumstances and allow the most good to come from them.  What creates your reality is not what happens to you, but how you RESPOND to what happens to you.  Life does have challenges, but there is a positive side for each and every one of them.  Be grateful for the gift inside of every heartache even if you can’t see it right now.

4.    Give thanks for those blessings that are on the way. Feel them coming. Expect success.  Expect the best and be grateful for it.

After completing this little game, how do you feel?  

Everyone who plays is a winner because I'll tell you a secret, gratitude allows you to receive more; it is the foundation of all abundance. An open, gracious heart is a powerful magnet for good. Money, opportunity, and joy flows toward gratitude.  Try it and see.

It will prepare you for a glorious Thanksgiving!

The Best Kind of Valentine

For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!