The Best Kind of Valentine

For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!

3 HABITS FOR MORE SUCCESS WITH LESS STRESS

A few weeks ago I wrote about how we all the have the same 24 hours, yet some of us seem to use it better than others.  I talked about the importance of TAKING time for the important things in life.  For those of us starting a new business or even experienced entrepreneurs, we don't know how to begin doing that so here are the 3 habits I think are really important to be more successful - with far less stress!

PRIORITIZE.  This does not mean just prioritizing work projects and what's on your desk.  Prioritize your life!  Include time for the gym, family, Sunday dinner, church, vacation - whatever is also important outside of work.  Many of us (me included in the past) are  terrified to take our eyes off our businesses for fear we will lose money or clients and so your days become completely focused on work. Every other aspect of our life is an “Add-On.”  Work is first, and then we try, often unsuccessfully, to grab a few moments petting the dog or being a spouse, or taking a walk – and we think this is trying to be balanced!!  And, we tell ourselves we have to do it in order to make money.  Untrue!

Prioritizing means you have several aspects of your life, and when you work, you work a prescribed number of hours, and then YOU TAKE TIME for other parts of your life!  It’s crucial to your success to “Take” time for activities other than work. I know this is uncomfortable because this lack of balance is very common pattern with entrepreneurs, and it’s hard to give up.

But, here’s the kicker: if you have more balance, you will be far more efficient at work, the work you do will be higher quality, you will be much less exhausted, and your business will thrive. TAKE the time for the important things outside of work, and you will be surprised how positively it affects your bottom line.
                
DELEGATE. This is another giant topic.  You say you can't delegate because you can’t afford it, but generally it’s because you don’t want to let go of control.  Also, delegating does not necessarily mean adding a ton of staff.  I had a client who recently realized that hiring a maid for $50 a month to do her laundry and run some errands would dramatically impact the quality of her life.  Sometimes you can trade services. Do you think Oprah and Bill Gates do everything themselves?  Yes, it is a risk, but my experience is that every client who started seriously delegating saw their business skyrocket -  and had much less stress.  Start making notes where someone else could do the tasks you do or where you could expand your services using other professionals.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.  Many entrepreneurs wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they stopped working like maniacs.  It’s not unusual for entrepreneurs to lack the skills of ongoing physical fitness, personal growth, connection to family, contribution to the community, and a commitment to mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.  These are the skills I personally believe are crucial to real success in life. Taking care of yourself is a critical personal responsibility.  Eating properly, getting sleep and exercise, feeling good and having fun is an absolute necessity if you want to make money.

Of course there are more, but these 3 are pretty darned important. Got other thoughts? Be sure to post them (http://firedupforsuccess.blogspot.com) or e-mail me at mlm@firedupforsuccess.com.

Meanwhile, remember, you are not a victim of some mysterious time-robber.  Every minute of every day you make decisions as to what you are going to CHOOSE to do with your time, and what you TAKE your time for.