Giving Without Expecting to Receive - and Receiving Even More!

Hello to Fired Up Spirits:

While my work is not exclusive to business owners, I spend a lot of time with business mavens of one type or another.  The subject is often about what you need to do to ‘GET RESULTS.’  The end game seems to be pretty consistently the focus.  I’m not saying results should be ignored, but since everything produces some kind of result – maybe we could embrace a kinder – and more effective - strategy.

One of my favorite gurus, Deepak Chopra, talks about the “Law of Giving and Receiving,”

“The universe operates through dynamic exchange . . . giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.”

Crazy, huh??!!  This is obviously the stuff for great spiritual minds, but wait!!  I belong to Business Network International  (BNI)  founded by business marketing expert, Ivan Meisner, Ph.D.,  and the slogan is “Givers Gain.”  Meetings are focused on what we can do for other members, not just ourselves.  Statistics seems to indicate those who give the most are the ones who receive the most business referrals.

Shocking!

If you find yourself stuck, reach out to help someone else. It will help you think about yourself less and get involved in something that may spark an idea that helps you.  Like Deepak says, the more we give, the more we receive.

Below is a way of giving that you can join led by my dear friend and client, Dr. Virginia Green, a marriage and family therapist who founded Stillwater Global to find ways to serve the overwhelming needs of the women of Uganda who have no access to therapists, counselors, teachers to help these often abused and raped women ripped from their families in a war-torn nation.  She is taking a second group of those who want to provide service – and learn about Africa – to teach these women how to help each other.  The last time she helped them start businesses.  She is a perfect example of what I am talking about.  

She is not doing it to build her business; she is doing it out of sense of “calling,” – and it’s a beautiful thing.  But incidentally, she flourishes.

Where do YOU need to be giving?  What touches you?  What do you want to be different?  We all do this in different ways – it is the ACT of giving that creates and open and abundant heart, and I wish that for you in every way.

More on Stillwater Global:  

If you have been attracted to Africa – or to wanting to be of greater service  - this is a great opportunity!  Reservations to be confirmed September 2017.

If you have just wanted to learn more and live near Redondo Beach, Dr. Green is conducting educational forums the last Sunday of every month until they leave.  For practicing therapists, 35 hours of CEUS are available for MFT’s, LCSW’s and LPCC’s in California.

Too far away to drop in?   For more info or to make a small donation : 

https:www.stillwaterfamilytherapy.com/stillwater-global-africa. 

3 HABITS FOR MORE SUCCESS WITH LESS STRESS

A few weeks ago I wrote about how we all the have the same 24 hours, yet some of us seem to use it better than others.  I talked about the importance of TAKING time for the important things in life.  For those of us starting a new business or even experienced entrepreneurs, we don't know how to begin doing that so here are the 3 habits I think are really important to be more successful - with far less stress!

PRIORITIZE.  This does not mean just prioritizing work projects and what's on your desk.  Prioritize your life!  Include time for the gym, family, Sunday dinner, church, vacation - whatever is also important outside of work.  Many of us (me included in the past) are  terrified to take our eyes off our businesses for fear we will lose money or clients and so your days become completely focused on work. Every other aspect of our life is an “Add-On.”  Work is first, and then we try, often unsuccessfully, to grab a few moments petting the dog or being a spouse, or taking a walk – and we think this is trying to be balanced!!  And, we tell ourselves we have to do it in order to make money.  Untrue!

Prioritizing means you have several aspects of your life, and when you work, you work a prescribed number of hours, and then YOU TAKE TIME for other parts of your life!  It’s crucial to your success to “Take” time for activities other than work. I know this is uncomfortable because this lack of balance is very common pattern with entrepreneurs, and it’s hard to give up.

But, here’s the kicker: if you have more balance, you will be far more efficient at work, the work you do will be higher quality, you will be much less exhausted, and your business will thrive. TAKE the time for the important things outside of work, and you will be surprised how positively it affects your bottom line.
                
DELEGATE. This is another giant topic.  You say you can't delegate because you can’t afford it, but generally it’s because you don’t want to let go of control.  Also, delegating does not necessarily mean adding a ton of staff.  I had a client who recently realized that hiring a maid for $50 a month to do her laundry and run some errands would dramatically impact the quality of her life.  Sometimes you can trade services. Do you think Oprah and Bill Gates do everything themselves?  Yes, it is a risk, but my experience is that every client who started seriously delegating saw their business skyrocket -  and had much less stress.  Start making notes where someone else could do the tasks you do or where you could expand your services using other professionals.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.  Many entrepreneurs wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they stopped working like maniacs.  It’s not unusual for entrepreneurs to lack the skills of ongoing physical fitness, personal growth, connection to family, contribution to the community, and a commitment to mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.  These are the skills I personally believe are crucial to real success in life. Taking care of yourself is a critical personal responsibility.  Eating properly, getting sleep and exercise, feeling good and having fun is an absolute necessity if you want to make money.

Of course there are more, but these 3 are pretty darned important. Got other thoughts? Be sure to post them (http://firedupforsuccess.blogspot.com) or e-mail me at mlm@firedupforsuccess.com.

Meanwhile, remember, you are not a victim of some mysterious time-robber.  Every minute of every day you make decisions as to what you are going to CHOOSE to do with your time, and what you TAKE your time for.

DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME? CHANGE WHAT YOU SAY... by Mary Lyn Miller

Have you ever heard this?

“I’d _______________(fill in the blank:  exercise more – (or exercise at all) – spend time with my family – take a class – pursue a passion – take a short vacation – join a club,) but  I don’t have the time!”   Aw, c'mon, have you ever said words like this?

These words imply that is that there is some invisible time bandit stealing time behind your back and you didn’t get your fair allotment of time today and there’s just nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do about it. 

I know it sounds funny, and I still struggle with time management from time to time, but I have learned that when you say the phrase, “I don’t have the time,” you are really saying:  “I am not taking the time.”

For instance, have you ever said anything like this? 
 “I’d like to spend more time with my friend, John, but I just don’t have the time.”  No, you do have the time; you’re not taking the time.  If you don’t make plans to be away from work to see John, if you don’t set up a date with him,  if you don't spend tine with him, you are choosing to do something else.

I can hear you explaining to me how your industry needs you to be super-dedicated; how it's the "accepted culture" of your workplace; how being an entrepreneur requires you to work more than normal people. There are always a million reasons not to live the life you were meant to live.

“Lack of time” doesn’t just happen to you.   You and I and Oprah and Donald Trump and Bill Gates all have the exact same 24 hours every day.  Even Barack Obama doesn’t get extra hours for being a president. Time is the great equalizer; we all get exactly the same number of hours.  But don't you ever wonder why some of these people seem to be doing so much more, achieving so much, yet having richer more balanced lives, and making way more money?

You are responsible for what you do with every minute of your time. 

The truth is that the more balanced you are, the more multi-dimensional your are, you will be far more efficient at work, the work you do will be higher quality, you will be much less exhausted, and your business and income will thrive.

It is up to you to TAKE the time for the important things outside of work, live a full life and allow yourself to be as successful as you can possibly be.

If you find yourself not having enough time to do the important things in life, remember how you manage your time and what you put into it is your responsibility.  This is the first step in starting to create a more passionate profitable business and life.

Want some more steps?  Watch for my next article.  
And let me know how this relates to YOUR life by commenting!

How to Control Overwhelm

“Overwhelm” seems to be more the norm than the unusual today. We’ve grown used to being “overwhelmed” as a way of life, but did you know it can rob you of your motivation, your health, your relationships, your financial stability and your overall well being?

When we are facing a career change or major life transition or thinking about what we’re going to do next, we can feel overwhelmed even when we are doing nothing. The thoughts in our head just take up so much space!

But, you CAN do something about it. It’s not HAPPENING to you. It is the result of certain behaviors and mindsets, and I’m going to talk about some of them over the next few weeks so that you can join me in DECIDING that this is no longer a useful coping mechanism.

Are you ready to do something about it? I am. You CAN change this destructive habit, and in the next weeks we’re going to tackle this together.

So let’s start by discussing the concept of “time.”

Yep, when we’re overwhelmed, we feel a constriction of time. Time is like having a limited amount of space in a drawer, and an infinite amount of things to put it in it. Everyday people around us are constantly making up new things for us to put in our 24 hour drawer. The list is growing and expanding as we speak. (Well, I’m writing.) Yet, there is still only the same amount of space in that drawer.

In fact, our language is often about feeling “jammed up,” “tight,” and, well, “overwhelmed,” because our drawer is overly full.

It’s important to note that mental energy has the power to really fill up the drawer! There’s nothing like a solid negative thought to get your drawer filled to the brim.

The drawer is the same for everyone, by the way. I have the same 24 hours in a day that you do. But, those who are centered, focused, satisfied and fulfilled make different choices than some of us who are rushed and overwhelmed all the time. They choose wisely what they put in their "drawer," and what they leave out of it. And, they make no attempt to do it ALL. They are content with choosing less in their drawer – and enjoying it more.

According to Jeffrey Davidson, a time "attitude" consultant, "the mega-realities of life in America are that there are too many people, too much information and limitless choices. The one thing that isn’t limitless is time - there is only so much a person can accomplish in a day. Those ever growing realities make learning to ’manage’ your time only a short term solution," says Davidson.

So, you can see, that tomorrow, next week, next month next year, the demands on your time are going to be greater. You no sooner get a handle on your current situation then 6 …or 20…. new things show up, and your time management plan is a shambles.

Now let’s go back to the drawer. The quality of your life is determined by what you choose to put in your drawer …and what you leave out every day.

What qualifies as a “choice?” You have made a choice when you say “Yes, I’ll do that.” Or “yes, I’m going to buy into that negative idea.”

So, how do you determine what goes in and what gets left out?

Passion goes in. Dreams, visions, fun, laughter and creativity go in. Anything that captures your imagination and makes your spirit soar goes in. Time with family, Disneyland, nature and self-renewal go in the drawer.

For some amazing reason, passion, joy, balance and play actually increases space in your drawer. That energy creates more energy.
It also keeps the negative thinking quiet as well.

But most of us fill up our 24 Hour Drawer with less than meaningful activity, stressful work, and bland relationships in hopes that somehow, someday there will be "extra" time to pursue something we care more about. It doesn’t work. It only makes you feel more hopeless and helpless…which starts another round of space filling negative thinking.

So, make a note to start to remove energy draining activity, meaningless tasks and anything that doesn’t inspire you…OUT of the drawer. If you are wondering how to determine that, sentences that begin with “I have to, ought to and should” tell you what needs to go out.

These are all things that you are resisting and don’t make you feel good, and will trigger negative thinking which triggers even more overwhelm.

But you may be thinking, “What will I do about my responsibilities?”

In my next article I will talk about exactly that.

But, right now, I suggest you begin to become aware of your drawer. What are you putting in your drawer and what could you leave out?

This is the beginning of releasing overwhelm.