DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME? CHANGE WHAT YOU SAY... by Mary Lyn Miller

Have you ever heard this?

“I’d _______________(fill in the blank:  exercise more – (or exercise at all) – spend time with my family – take a class – pursue a passion – take a short vacation – join a club,) but  I don’t have the time!”   Aw, c'mon, have you ever said words like this?

These words imply that is that there is some invisible time bandit stealing time behind your back and you didn’t get your fair allotment of time today and there’s just nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do about it. 

I know it sounds funny, and I still struggle with time management from time to time, but I have learned that when you say the phrase, “I don’t have the time,” you are really saying:  “I am not taking the time.”

For instance, have you ever said anything like this? 
 “I’d like to spend more time with my friend, John, but I just don’t have the time.”  No, you do have the time; you’re not taking the time.  If you don’t make plans to be away from work to see John, if you don’t set up a date with him,  if you don't spend tine with him, you are choosing to do something else.

I can hear you explaining to me how your industry needs you to be super-dedicated; how it's the "accepted culture" of your workplace; how being an entrepreneur requires you to work more than normal people. There are always a million reasons not to live the life you were meant to live.

“Lack of time” doesn’t just happen to you.   You and I and Oprah and Donald Trump and Bill Gates all have the exact same 24 hours every day.  Even Barack Obama doesn’t get extra hours for being a president. Time is the great equalizer; we all get exactly the same number of hours.  But don't you ever wonder why some of these people seem to be doing so much more, achieving so much, yet having richer more balanced lives, and making way more money?

You are responsible for what you do with every minute of your time. 

The truth is that the more balanced you are, the more multi-dimensional your are, you will be far more efficient at work, the work you do will be higher quality, you will be much less exhausted, and your business and income will thrive.

It is up to you to TAKE the time for the important things outside of work, live a full life and allow yourself to be as successful as you can possibly be.

If you find yourself not having enough time to do the important things in life, remember how you manage your time and what you put into it is your responsibility.  This is the first step in starting to create a more passionate profitable business and life.

Want some more steps?  Watch for my next article.  
And let me know how this relates to YOUR life by commenting!

How to Control Overwhelm

“Overwhelm” seems to be more the norm than the unusual today. We’ve grown used to being “overwhelmed” as a way of life, but did you know it can rob you of your motivation, your health, your relationships, your financial stability and your overall well being?

When we are facing a career change or major life transition or thinking about what we’re going to do next, we can feel overwhelmed even when we are doing nothing. The thoughts in our head just take up so much space!

But, you CAN do something about it. It’s not HAPPENING to you. It is the result of certain behaviors and mindsets, and I’m going to talk about some of them over the next few weeks so that you can join me in DECIDING that this is no longer a useful coping mechanism.

Are you ready to do something about it? I am. You CAN change this destructive habit, and in the next weeks we’re going to tackle this together.

So let’s start by discussing the concept of “time.”

Yep, when we’re overwhelmed, we feel a constriction of time. Time is like having a limited amount of space in a drawer, and an infinite amount of things to put it in it. Everyday people around us are constantly making up new things for us to put in our 24 hour drawer. The list is growing and expanding as we speak. (Well, I’m writing.) Yet, there is still only the same amount of space in that drawer.

In fact, our language is often about feeling “jammed up,” “tight,” and, well, “overwhelmed,” because our drawer is overly full.

It’s important to note that mental energy has the power to really fill up the drawer! There’s nothing like a solid negative thought to get your drawer filled to the brim.

The drawer is the same for everyone, by the way. I have the same 24 hours in a day that you do. But, those who are centered, focused, satisfied and fulfilled make different choices than some of us who are rushed and overwhelmed all the time. They choose wisely what they put in their "drawer," and what they leave out of it. And, they make no attempt to do it ALL. They are content with choosing less in their drawer – and enjoying it more.

According to Jeffrey Davidson, a time "attitude" consultant, "the mega-realities of life in America are that there are too many people, too much information and limitless choices. The one thing that isn’t limitless is time - there is only so much a person can accomplish in a day. Those ever growing realities make learning to ’manage’ your time only a short term solution," says Davidson.

So, you can see, that tomorrow, next week, next month next year, the demands on your time are going to be greater. You no sooner get a handle on your current situation then 6 …or 20…. new things show up, and your time management plan is a shambles.

Now let’s go back to the drawer. The quality of your life is determined by what you choose to put in your drawer …and what you leave out every day.

What qualifies as a “choice?” You have made a choice when you say “Yes, I’ll do that.” Or “yes, I’m going to buy into that negative idea.”

So, how do you determine what goes in and what gets left out?

Passion goes in. Dreams, visions, fun, laughter and creativity go in. Anything that captures your imagination and makes your spirit soar goes in. Time with family, Disneyland, nature and self-renewal go in the drawer.

For some amazing reason, passion, joy, balance and play actually increases space in your drawer. That energy creates more energy.
It also keeps the negative thinking quiet as well.

But most of us fill up our 24 Hour Drawer with less than meaningful activity, stressful work, and bland relationships in hopes that somehow, someday there will be "extra" time to pursue something we care more about. It doesn’t work. It only makes you feel more hopeless and helpless…which starts another round of space filling negative thinking.

So, make a note to start to remove energy draining activity, meaningless tasks and anything that doesn’t inspire you…OUT of the drawer. If you are wondering how to determine that, sentences that begin with “I have to, ought to and should” tell you what needs to go out.

These are all things that you are resisting and don’t make you feel good, and will trigger negative thinking which triggers even more overwhelm.

But you may be thinking, “What will I do about my responsibilities?”

In my next article I will talk about exactly that.

But, right now, I suggest you begin to become aware of your drawer. What are you putting in your drawer and what could you leave out?

This is the beginning of releasing overwhelm.

Personal Growth & The "O" Word: "Overwhelm."

Have you ever said "I'm so overwhelmed!" 

I used to say it a lot, and I am sure it was utterly justified, however, this is what I have learned about talking about it: It actually makes it worse. One day I was talking to a dear friend about the state of my very justifiable overwhelm, and then I OUTLINED in great detail all the many lists of things I had to do. I have to tell you, afterwards, I just felt depressed. It certainly didn't inspire me to get to what I needed to do. I just wanted to go to sleep. Talk about NOT being fired up! 

 No question overwhelm is a major energy drainer. But I previously viewed feeling overwhelmed as a time management issue (and some of it is) but I was startled, when she said to me, “Oh, please stop giving me the litany.” Litany? “The long list,” she responded. “If you stopped doing that, you’d feel a lot better, and get more done.” 

 What! How insensitive of her! Then I thought, "I have been teaching for years that what you focus on expands. Whatever you give your attention to invites it in." Hmmm....that means the more energy you give to being overwhelmed, ..well, the more overwhelming everything becomes! I began to realize this was beyond Time Management - it was Self Management. I had to start by eliminating talking about my frustrations all the time, giving my problems all this energy and attention. 

One client decided to eradicate the word from her vocabulary.  But it has proved to be more challenging than she thought. What can we say instead? Here are some thoughts: “I have some challenges.” “I need to prioritize where to take immediate action.” “I am making choices.” In other words, shifting from being a victim of “too much to do,” to being pro-active, prioritizing, and making decisions about what works for you. That’s much more empowering! 

Of course, this really is a deeper issue. Overwhelm is also a control issue, but that’s for another day. Let me hear YOUR experiences with the "O" word!!