Networking Tips for the Introvert

Do you get sweaty palms when walking into a roomful of people you may not know?  Maybe it’s MORE than sweaty palms; perhaps closer to nausea followed by abject terror.   “Good grief!”, you may think! “How am I ever going to build a new business or following when I don’t like glad handing in crowds?”

Relax!  Some famous introverts have built amazing power relationships and success: think Bill Gates, Meryl Streep, JK Rowling, Steven Spielberg, Elon Musk and Eleanor Roosevelt for starters.

I want to share this interesting article from Forbes because it gives some great information, but more than that, it recommends small groups and continuous deep relationships…. which is, by the way, exactly how I built my business that has supported me for 2.5 decades so it works for more than just introverts.

I became involved in having breakfast every week with some high quality local professionals who were committed to helping me succeed and I made the same commitment to them.  They are now responsible for about 70% of my business.

If you are local, I have an invitation for you below to join me for one of those breakfasts and see how it works – and you don’t have to be an extrovert!!

 

In 2017, over 227,000 members of BNI worldwide passed over 9.8 million referrals which resulted in more than $13.6 billion in business – and you can be one of them! 

Join me for my BNI chapter’s Visitor Day on May 17th, 2018. You’ll meet like-minded entrepreneurs and have breakfast. Cost is $20 including breakfast. Rock ‘n Brews, Pacific Coast Hwy and Palos Verdes Blvd., Redondo Beach, 7:00 AM (it’s early, but definitely worth it!). 

You MUST pre-register HERE to be my guest.

 

Will you still love me when I'm 64? (Beatles)

When this song came out (yes, I was alive) I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be 64, much less be loveable at that age.
But time changes all that.  We just celebrated my mom’s 90th and I find myself somewhat in that same mystified position again.

Mom is probably as close to the best-case scenario of what can happen when aging.  She is financially secure and able to live in a very well appointed assisted living situation where all her needs are provided for; she has 2 doting children living within miles of her who provide social needs and companionship; she’s enormously popular with her age group, and at 90 seems to have had almost no mental decline.  Her love of jewelry, make up and shopping has not waivered.

All is not perfect. She can no longer walk on her own; has narcolepsy, neuropathy and some other “n” words and sports several monitors underneath her cute stylish jeans and periodically visits Emergency, but she is high spirited, engaged in life, able to whip through a department store on her walker at amazing speeds  (gives new meaning to “shop 'til you drop”) and spends no time feeling sorry for herself.  (This is the #1 trait I admire.)  While many her age are drooling into a cup, she’s planning her trip to Scandanavia and Russia this summer.

I don’t know if this is my destiny – we can do what we can to create great outcomes.  For me, having a business and helping others seems to be my way of being the best I can be right now, but we are not all equally blessed.  My husband did just about everything right that he could, was a rugged athlete until shortly before he passed, never saw a vegetable he didn’t love, and gave tirelessly of himself helping others.  Yet, at the end he lost his memory.  But he had an amazing life that other people have never forgotten.

That’s all we can hope for.  That we’ve honored our gifts in a big way; that we have loved as passionately as we can and have been grateful for all of it.  I did not know I would end up here when I started writing, but that’s what true direction is I think; being authentically who you are for as long as you’ve been given, however long that is.

PS:  If you're concerned about your aging and want to be sure you find the right direction for you at this point in your life, contact me at mlm@firedupforsuccess.com for a no cost chat.

Happy (Almost) Independence Day!

Any company producing a product called “Fired Up” should address the queen of all fired up holidays: the 4^th of July aka Independence Day!

Of course, we know it as the day that the “United States of America” finally signed the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming our separation from Great Britain. (I understand it was actually signed July 2, but needed to be edited for 2 days – another story.)

A mere 1,337 handwritten words including headings with 56 signatures announced the humanitarian values of this new country as well as a list of grievances that would not be repeated. It is to this day, one of the most powerful documents in our history and changed the course of not only this fledgling country, but the world.

When I talk to entrepreneurs, the #1 reason many have stepped into their lifestyle is a quest for “independence.”

It made me think that we should all have a personal Declaration of Independence. A brief document signed by ONE (you) that, similar to the Declaration, could have 3 parts:

1. What you stand for or believe in (the need to be creative, the right to create your own livelihood, the importance of helping others, the need to be self-expressive, etc….like a personal Purpose Statement.) It will be the values your business represents as well, I would think.
2. What mistakes you have seen others make that you will not make (What you will do to live the life you stand for)
3. What you are willing to do to live the life you have been designed to live which will set you free.

As soon as I started writing this, I just knew you’d want me to give you an example, so below is a quick, fairly imperfect template that I put together for myself just to give you some thoughts:

“I, Mary Lyn Miller, do declare I believe all beings are endowed with a Divine sense of Purpose and the ability to make their Purpose come to pass through the consistent pursuit and focus on passion and joy. Passion is light through the tunnel. I have come to know it is not always an easy journey, but the one which provides the most reward, fulfillment and financial well-being, and the one I must choose in order to live an authentic life without regret.

I will not:

• Work only for money.
• Ignore my innate gifts and talents
• Distrust my instincts
• Allow myself to be too afraid to do what I need to do to move forward
• Try to do it all myself
• Forget that prayer and meditation is almost always the answer to every major need or desire (forget myself and my ego.)

I will:

• Do something that gives me passion every day.
• Realize passion and purpose is not something “to find”– it is already in me and I simply need to give it space to express.
• Do my best to stay in the moment
• End every day with a profound sense of gratitude no matter what.

What about you? What would your personal Declaration of Independence look like? Take the time over this holiday weekend to give it some thought and make some notes.

We all have to invest time to be free. Happy 4^th!

The Best Kind of Valentine

For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!