The Best Kind of Valentine

For many people, Valentine’s is a tough day.   If you don’t have a partner right now, you may feel lonely and like everyone in the world is in love except you.  If you have a partner, you may feel they don’t love you enough, or the right way, or they aren’t giving you the sentiment you desire.  (Some partners wish they could forget the day entirely except they are harassed into acknowledging it – my husband included.)

Valentine’s Day can be a loser, but all this love is dependent on “GETTING LOVE”… from other people in order to FEEL loved.  But, what if feeling loved, nurtured and taken care of was not dependent on anyone else? What if you could do it yourself?                   

You can.  It’s called SELF LOVE, and that is the best kind – at least the most reliable kind – of Valentine love, and there is no better holiday to practice it than on this one. What might that look like?  Here’s 5 steps on creating a day filled with love:

1. Start the day with a gratitude list of anything (absolutely anything) good that has happened to you in the past 24 hours.  Feel your heart open and love pour out the more grateful you are.  Gratitude is the foundation for all abundance; it’s a good practice.
2. Give yourself a total day off from your critical inner voice. Protect that fragile inner part of yourself that carries your greatest passions and hopes – and greatest fears.  Talk gently and kindly to yourself all day and feel the wellspring of good that opens up for you.
3. Do something passionate. Endorphins, here you come!  Self-Love is about connecting to yourself – what you love and desire. Most of our time is spent on "getting stuff done."  This is a great day to take a painting class, ride your bike, go to Zumba, get a massage or anything that nurtures your true nature.  It’s important to get back in touch with who you really are and what you really want. It is the source of all your success and happiness.
4. Do something for someone less fortunate.  Some of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t have, comparing ourselves with others, and bemoaning our fate. A few hours working with a homeless person, volunteering for at risk kids, or getting help for someone with an addiction problem or anything like that can change your entire perspective very quickly.  Suddenly, life is not so bad, your problems not so big and your heart is filled with gratitude and love.  Service to others is a high form of love to all.
5. Get Support.   Why would you send yourself out in the world alone? It’s YOUR responsibility to make notes of those who love you and make you feel good about yourself and to then SPEND TIME with them.  DO NOT spend time with anyone who echoes those critical voices! Join activity groups, special interest groups, networking organizations, masterminds and any form of support. They will bolster you and you won't feel so alone.

So why is a success coach talking about loving yourself on Valentine’s Day?  If you look at the 5 steps above and applied them to your career or business, I think you can see it could have a dramatically positive impact.

But, for now, look at it as a recipe for a wonderful Valentine’s Day filled with self-love and good feelings - with or without a partner!   

Happy Valentine's!!

WHICH IS BEST: A GOAL OR A VISION?

So, you're stuck.

Everyone asks: What's your vision? What are your goals? Wait, which is which? Where do you start?

In my Fired Up Mastermind system, we each create ONE 90 Day Vision and then move forward through the Mastermind teams by making incremental goals in alignment with this Vision.

But, here are some great questions I have been asked, and thought I should address:

Q: Why only ONE vision? I have a lot of things I want to work on.

A: Most of us lack focus. We are assailed by information, e-mails and TO-DO lists of all kinds. It's not that you can't address several areas in your life as they come up, but it’s important you have one simple focus for 90 Days. You can still do other things. But, the one Vision will keep you centered, help you to organize your time better, and feel like you have accomplished more at the end of 90 days.

Q: What’s the difference between a goal and a vision?

A: A vision has a more emotional content. It makes you FEEL something. It embodies nebulous states of being like freedom, success, abundance, respect, balance, etc. Often a vision is just presented to us. Some of you have said things like, “Suddenly I saw what is possible.” Or “I know I want to be a speaker and I can feel myself on stage talking to hundreds of people, but I have no idea how that could happen.” A vision is a piece of your dream.

A goal is the quantifiable measurement of your actions. For instance, for the speaker above, a 90 day vision might be broken down that in 90 days they are starting to do talks. Wow!

Then the goal actions might be to investigate at least 3 programs that service speakers, join Toastmasters, and define a topic. Some of you might be familiar with the “SMART” goals concept that defines good goals as being “SPECIFIC, MEASUREABLE, ACHIEVEABLE, REALISTIC and TIMELY.” These are the earmarks of great goal setting.

Q: Does this mean you think a vision is more important than a goal? Do I need a goal or do I need a vision?

A: We all need BOTH. You need something meaningful, passionate and fulfilling to work toward, and you need the small, quantifiable, simple steps to move toward it. Unfortunately, many of us set goals before we have a strong sense of a passionate vision.

For instance, you might decide your goal is: “I’m going to increase my income by 50%in the next 6 months." Good goal, but is it appropriate for you? Is it really what you want to do? Do you want that much more work? How will that impact your lifestyle? In reality, you may want that money because you believe it will bring you more freedom. The driving vision then is all about freedom. Everything needs to be geared toward creating more freedom for you. The best goals are connected to a vision.

If you want to connect with a more meaningful vision, just discuss below or contact me. Stay fired up!

Stuck: 4 Tips to Break the"Stuck" Spell

Jeez, with the dramatic levels of change going on in the Universe today, many of us are feeling disoriented, uncertain, and exhausted from trying to figure out things that are beyond our ability to figure out. I hear the stories all the time. We don't know what to do about our work, our money, and our future. We feel immobilized as if the Economy Fairy has put us under a spell.

In other words, we feel stuck. Is there any hope to break the spell? While there's no Handsome Prince waiting nearby, here's 4 tips that have worked for clients over my 20 years of coaching:

1) Don't Rush. Understand there is always a space between Endings and New Beginnings. While it feels empty, it's a critical to re-birthing. A caterpillar cocoons before it becomes a butterfly. All things in nature follow the same process. Rather than operating from panic, allow yourself to be still. Most of us have been so over-productive most of our lives that days "doing nothing," is viewed as wasteful. Then we beat ourselves up and try to move faster.But doing nothing is actually the stage when the most creativity is occurring. Creativity and new ideas need oxygen....space...in which to ferment and breathe. Allow that process to take place as it will serve you in the long run.

2) Identify with a Vision. It doesn't have to look anything like your old life...and probably won't. But you do get to choose your Vision. Let go. Get passionate. Get imaginative. A gardener puts seeds in the soil with a vision of what it will look like come Spring. No matter how fallow your life may look now, start planting things you really want to see bloom in your life later on. Go to adult school, take internet classes, blog, and hang out with people you think are really cool even if they can't help you with business.

3) Experiment and Move. Try new stuff. Visit new places, explore different activities. Transition is the ideal time of life to experiment. You'll learn new sides to yourself (which may or may not improve your marketability) and you will become more alive. That aliveness makes you powerfully attractive to all things: other humans, opportunity and money. If you stagnate when you feel stuck, you will only feel more stuck. Physical movement and activity can change your perspective very quickly...and open you to unforeseen opportunities.

4) Get Support. Of course, I am a huge believer in group support, collaboration and masterminding. One hour of masterminding can dramatically alter your outlook because you get someone else's ideas rather than constantly recycling the same limiting beliefs over and over, and wonder why things are not changing.

Try some of these, and let me know how it goes.

From "Fired Up" to Fizzle?

It's the beginning of a new year - even a new decade! It's exciting. Hope abounds. You might even have plans to eat more vegetables, de-clutter your office, and spend more time with your family.



This year for me is to expand the offerings and opportunties for the members of my Mentoring and Mastermind Network. (http://www.firedupforsuccess.com/.)



Here's the thing: It is estimated that 97% of all New Years Resolutions don't make it past the 3rd week. Wow! How could it go from Fired Up to Fizzle in such a short time?



We produce in our lives that which we are aligned with. Whatever we say, think, feel and do gives clear direction to our brains to create the outcomes. If we say, "This probably won't work," it probably won't. On the other hand, if we become positive, hopeful and optimistic, we will produce a positive result.



Henry Ford made the well known comment: "Whether you believe you can or can't, you're right."



But, in making change, the key is not doing something once or twice. It's about consistency.



It takes about 3-4 weeks of new behavior for the brain to begin to set a new pattern. It often takes months to put together those 3-4 weeks.



That's the value of a support group or mastermind. It's just not easy to embrace of way of being which is contrary to how you've been. Your brain simply isn't wired to do it yet. You're not bad or weak, just not fully programmed. You need to be around others who embrace this kind of a process. We all need for others to hold the vision of what is possible even when we aren't ready to embrace it for ourselves.



"I am just too close to myself to see my potential," said Julie, a nutritionist, to me one day. "I am amazed at what the others see and the ideas they have that I would have never had for myself. The group has really accelerated my progress. I could have never bbeen ableto stay this focused on my own."



Give up trying to do it on your own. Recognize we all need help. Want to go from"Fired Up" to more "Fired Up?" Get a mastermind group!

Entrepreneurs: Still Doing It Last Year's Way?

I recently celebrated an anniversary with a friend and I asked if she wanted to go back to a place we had been to before. Surprisingly, she replied emphatically, "Oh, not at all. We've already been there. Let's go someplace that doesn't represent where we've been, but where we're going."

How often, I thought, have I chosen to go back to the same place because I am familiar with it? The process of choosing a new meeting place with my friend became a larger metaphor for life.
What represents the future to you? This is a very different question from “What worked before?” After all, in this new economy, almost nothing works like it did before. We are forced to give up a lot of old ideas and fill in with something very different and new. What is that for you?

A client came to me because her thriving business was connected to real estate and her income had plummeted. We had to step back and go beyond how it was before and create whole new strategy and vision for her business based on her talents and what people need NOW. She had to adjust, let go, and commit to a new path. It was unfamiliar, but turned out to be much more profitable. She got the clarity and support she needed to create an entirely new approach to her life and work. I believe that is what makes the difference.

We cannot do it like we did before on a myriad of levels. What went before is over. It’s not going to “go back.” There isn’t going to be a “do-over.” The real issue is “What are you going to do NOW!” Your clients, bosses and colleagues have new needs; how are you going to use your passion and talents to meet these needs? Therein lay the seed to your success. These are the questions we all need to ask ourselves at various junctures in our life, no matter what the economy.

One of the old ideas is that you can do it on your own. That rugged individualistic ethic came over with the pilgrims who, by the way, did nothing alone. They were entirely a community based society. Community works because you need ideas that are not yours! I know my mind automatically takes me back to "where I've already been." It's trained to do that. Without new input, I only know how to do old things. (That’s one of the many reasons why our Mastermind community (www.firedupforsuccess.com/mastermind.htm) work so well.) Community gives you resources and feedback you would never have on your own.

The formula is this: Your talent and passion + meeting real (or perceived) needs + a strong support system for regular feedback and resources = success. If you want to experience something more promising, more profitable and new, you have to DO something new.

When I thought about what my friend had said, I did some soul searching and then asked for feedback. It made me realize I want to go in the direction of more laughter, fun and freedom, along with some risk and adventure…and maybe some just plain childhood fantasy.
So where did I go with my friend? Disneyland!

What are you doing to let go of the old way of doing things which may actually be hurting you, your career and your business and re-engineer yourself to meet today’s needs? If you want a fresh strategy, read more at www.firedupforsuccess.com/coaching.htm.

5 TIPS TO GET CENTERED

GOING TOO MANY DIRECTIONS? 5 TIPS TO GET CENTERED 

 I have wonderful, creative, innovative, interesting clients and students. In my experience you do NOT lack ideas. In fact, the problem seems to be TOO many ideas and possibilities, all leading in somewhat different directions. Then, there’s the dilemma of WHICH idea to pursue – and if you choose one, doesn’t it leave all the other ones out? But, what if the other ones are great ideas too? So, you ponder and hesitate and months later NONE of the ideas are implemented. 

Then, there’s that horrible moment when you discover SOMEONE ELSE has taken one of YOUR great ideas and done something very successful with it.  (Yes, it HAS happened to me as well.)  So, if you have ever thought like this, you can see it does not work. Here’s some tips that may help you get up and running. 

 1) WRITE DOWN ALL OF YOUR IDEAS. 

 Keep them in a central place: a notebook, bulletin board, I-Phone or computer. This gets everything out of your head so you can clear a space for creativity, and, as you do this, you begin to realize that many of your ideas are just fragments of a larger vision, and that when you look at them over a period of time, a bigger vision may emerge. There are probably connections that are not possible to see while still floating around in your head. Some clients see consistent themes, and a timeline may become more obvious. I have become aware that I have the SAME idea over and over which takes up mental and emotional space, and when I write it down, it simply relieves me of enormous mental gymnastics. 

 2) IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE – JUST CHOOSE SOMETHING! 

We wrestle with choosing the right idea, but here is a shocking fact: there is no one “right idea.” Every idea you have is connected to some inner yearning. Your ideas and dreams are not whole pieces, rather they are connected to each other like an invisible chain. As you begin to move on any part, the rest begin to follow. Like a chain, move one link, and the whole chain begins to move. Just do something and your chain will begin to move. 

 3) WORK ON ONE IDEA AT A TIME. 

 Again, when you gain momentum on one link of the chain, it affects the whole chain. But, the key is focus. Whether you’re writing an article (like me right now), or planning an event, or working with a client, or creating a new business plan, do it fully with no distractions. (Well, I am drinking carrot juice.) It’s about being present. Multi-tasking does NOT work (see below) and actually makes us feel perpetually empty and unfulfilled. We find that our Mastermind teams create the environment for our members to take the space and become present to what they REALLY need to focus on so they can do one thing at a time and see where it fits into their larger vision. 

 4) PRACTICE COMPLETION.  

Our lives tend to be filled with starts and stops. We leave things hanging. Practicing completion means you do one thing until there is a natural stopping point. You can then savor the completion and job well done, and move on to the next task. When you multi-task, it usually requires different spheres of your brain, which is not only confusing, but makes you less effective at everything. When you do complete one task, there is no cause to celebrate because there are always others left undone. It’s never over, never completed, never enough. We take those feelings into every part of our lives. 

 5) GET ACCOUNTABLE.  

After 25+ years of coaching, I know accountability is the key to success. It’s not big news. Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison and few other major players were in the same Mastermind group decades ago. Carnegie believed it was a critical tool to extraordinary success. I do too. That’s why I’ve created the Fired Up for Success™ Mastermind Network. You need to be reporting in regularly, and for other people to be tracking your progress. You need to be accountable for taking small, but consistent steps and to celebrate your completions. Not looking bad in front of others is a huge motivator for most of us. As solo entrepreneurs or home based businesses (or aspiring to be) your progress will escalate dramatically when you’re involved with a Master Mind team.

.If you want to chat about getting involved in a team, let's have a chat at 

https://bookin.com/book/fired-up-for-success! 

Welcome to My Blog - Moving Beyond My Comfort Zone Now!

You know that feeling you get when you're doing something outside of your comfort zone?

That's me right now. I've never done a blog before. So I want to welcome you to this place where I will share my successes, my fears, and the tools I have employed over the past 20 years for both myself and many, many others facing transition and challenges in their careers, businesses and lives.

I'm all about becoming Fired Up...embracing the energy of success and prosperity. Passion and fire are the most powerful forces in the Universe and are the creative source of all things.
We'll explore where your fire comes from, how to nurture and ignite it, and how to keep the flame from burning out.

Beyond self discovery and positive thinking, there is action. I believe that success requires us all to stretch beyond our comfort zones regularly. My guideline is that you need to be working "about 1 inch outside of the comfort zone." That means taking calculated, consistent small risks.

If you're feeling blocked or stuck, or bored, you're probably not taking enough risk. You're trying to stay safe. That's why one of the tools I believe in is Masterminding. The way we employ it in my coaching is really a combination of group coaching and networking. It helps to keep you focused on working very small and consistently - and to become accountable for those small actions. Whatever ways work for you, set small goals, take them regularly and become accountable to someone.

Oh, by the way, that's how this got done. My dear friend Rita helped me set this up, and then gently sent e-mails and hounded me on Facebook until I did this. My fondest wish for you is that you find a good "hounder"in your life. More later....